Day two

A tough day, but they say the going gets rough before the rough gets going. Somewhere in the night, a strength and sense of determined hope welled up inside me and carried me through the cloak of insanity that I had donned. I feel like I'm living two lives right now, one of a person struggling through recovery, and another of a person not struggling at all, but yielding to the forces of destruction. Deep breaths, some sleep, and lets pray for strength, willingness and courage for tomorrow. Try to Let Go and Release in another day. On a lighter note, I rode a horse today, quite a large one, that was thrilling. A docile creature despite its size, it was none-the-less a wondrous experience. Up close, they almost remind you of dinosaurs; their incredible muscles rippling under their smooth and shiny coats. Their large liquid eyes and ears that twitch with their thoughts, I'm sure. I followed my food plan, on the surface. I am going to bed. Grateful for surrender.