Saturday, October 3, 2009

12:56am bedroom

The moon was a beacon tonight, blindingly brilliant, and the fog draped the treetops like a heavy mantle, and the roads like a ghostly bridal veil. so beautiful, so other worldly.
could have had something to do with the fact that I was watching Brothers Grimm before i started the drive home from a babysitting gig. realized when i got home, i left my grey bag of 12 step books there. unfortunate inconvenience.
every time i over eat, i move farther away from myself. deeper into the cushion of the mental fog. right now i feel tired, torn, but slightly numbed. was granted a reprieve from the desire, but didn't take action to follow up on the love of the universe. so i munched buttery popcorn with the kids then shoved candy in my mouth after they went to bed.
would like a meeting tomorrow. but also want some time to coalesce. the morning to be alone. because its hard for me to do that at night. tough call. if the meeting was an hour later, life would be perfect ;)
work is busy, which is nice. life is busy, which is nice. but i think i need a time out, a time to gather myself.
will sleep on it, and wake with a decision.
thank you god, for your love. thank you universe, for your existence. thank you for the chance to live my life. thank you love, for surrounding me. i would be lost without you.

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