Thursday, February 11, 2010

12:17 wood house

i am expecting my body to heal, but it cant heal itself. before it can recover, my mind has to heal. before my mind can heal, my spirit has to mend. The steps help me to a spiritual experience that heals my soul. Letting go of bodyimage, which is unfortunately happening in an unhealthy way (binging, not exercising), but I feel it needs to happen. Let go and let God/Magic/Guide lead me to the healthy body that is inherently right for me, when its time.
last night it was about numbness, i felt that as i lay in bed after i switched out the light. numb. tonight it was not being able to positively direct excited energy. bad habits ingrained in an illness.
be proactive says Aimee, I challenge you. So I will. I let go, I let Guide lead me to a plan of action for tomorrow night, to hold to myself, to let my emotions Free, to experience the evening free of compulsive eating, whatever that looks like. Please, guide me Guiding Spirit of Love, help me feel, help me live.
My life has become unmanageable, I am only getting by. 'Choose your friends carefully' said one of the tips under 21 ways to start a new positive habit. I realize most of my friends are overweight. So I think I have to go there. For some reason, I have to totally let go of body image and vanity in order to heal.
Tired, sleep now, must rest. Grateful for people to talk to, to love, to be loved by.

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