Sunday, February 7, 2010

12:19 living room 12:43, bit of a delay, washing up and tidying chores. I need not be alone, I am not alone, I cannot be alone. For now, for now, maybe forever, but for now, I know this:
I am powerless over food, and my life has become unmanageable because of it.
I believe in a higher power that can restore me to sanity.
I now make a decision to turn my will - my mind and thoughts - and my life -my actions- over to the care of the Higher Power, my Guiding Spirit, who will lead me to Light, which I believe is Love. My life is in the hands of Greater forces, I accept I am not in charge of my destiny, but that I can shape it for a brighter future by tuning into and listening to a Creative Intelligence that is more powerful and knowing than I. I am willing to believe this, I believe it, and pray to have faith.
I cannot eat certain foods under certain behaviors or I become isolated, disconnected and selfishly insane. Insanity reigns when I:
Eat sugar, salted nuts and crackers, popcorn
Eat distracted (reading, watching), when I'm feeling lonely (alone, tired), without direction (bored, uncertain, unstructured) or willful (resentful, cynical).
Sanity - serenity, mindfulness, love - reigns when I:
Slow Down, Breath, Reach, Connect, am Willing, am Guided.
I believe I can recover. I will live in each moment, I will notice my breath, the blood flowing through my body, the emotions flowing through my mind, the glow of my spirit. I will talk and call and listen and hug and smile with others. Family, friends, fellowship, foreigners. We are all connected. I believe I can recover. I believe in my dedication and commitment. I feel strength flowing through me, strength that is not only my own. A strength that calls to a power, a wisdom deep inside me. I feel it, a faith, growing. I believe in my actions, my movements. I can do this, but not alone. I need Love and support and companionship from all the four F's. I reach out...I embrace Love, I breath Love, I pass it on.
Please, take away this craving. Please, take away my vanity. Higher Power who is stronger and greater than me, who is a part of me, I give you my obsession, I give you my pride. Please guide me to humility and compassion. I pray to live and lead a Life of Love. To share Love and joy and pain with others, to relieve suffering, and hopefully to gain a better understanding of the Universe.
My Guide, I offer myself to Thee- to build with me and to do with me as Though will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will of Love. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life of Serenity. May I do Thy will of Love always.
I come to believe.
Grateful for fellowship, companionship of understanding. Grateful for the love of my family, the support of my friends, the strength of my Love to give to others, the strength and force of the Creative Intelligence, which has passed on wisdom and serenity to so many, and I hope and pray, to me. I am ready, I open myself to Thee, to you, My Guide.
Sunshine and water...

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