Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sort of like a day zero. Or -1. Yet, there is no backward. Only standstill, and that, only if we choose to create that belief. Everyday I am shaping thoughts and taking actions and Letting Go; they may not be grand accomplishments, but they are there, none the less, and I acknowledge my small accomplishments, and thank my Higher Power for its Love and support. The tools of program are the only thing keeping me from fragmenting right now. I am hovering between sanity and its opposite, my mind kept manageable by the small doses of spiritual guidance I let in, and by practical repetitive motions I can go through, to connect with others and in so, help to stop myself from tumbling down a very deep hole. A very strong wind at my back is doing the rest. I feel like two different parts of me are falling apart and crying, inside. The disease, which knows its time is up; and my spirit, shedding tear in joyous exhalation, and terrified determination. I am grateful for artists who share their ideas through film, print and sound. For people, sharing their humanness, and letting me know its okay to be human myself.
Posted by PSB at 12:05 AM