feeling lost in myself again, losing my self to stubbornness and anxious impatience. the voice, the guide, is very strong in my head, in my being, but I am avoiding it to the failing of my physical and spiritual self. The push to go to the meeting was so very strong, as were the signs that something was to happen there. emails. a fortune cookie (no joke). but i resisted, i feared. moving forward, leaving something behind. moving forward into myself, leaving C behind. i broke a vase as i was leaving.
here is a poem:
Oh! cried Paradie
at the unexpected melody
of tinkling glass.
As soon as she had relieved herself
the vase fell off the toilet shelf
and broke into pieces.
The potpourri scattered
but what really mattered
was her sorrow.
So she went hunting late into the night
in the chance that she might
replace the lost scent.
If "Rainforest" his senses smoother,
I can always buy another
"Blackcherry" smells nice too. (seriously)
Then something silver caught her glance
a tool not unlike a rounded lance
to spear flakey crusts.
Spied her eyes
a lifter for pies
which he surely must have more than two of at his party.
Here ends our tale
toast with ale
a story sad-
turned shyly to glad.
Another binge tonight, wanted and given to myself. Moments of understanding, moments to hold back. Passed by. Through the moments, Paradie, through them.
The night is beautiful tonight. Standing outside the garage, I wished for dragons to fly through the sky.
grateful for so many things, for a loving family, for hope, for a new tomorrow. for sleep. love.