Thursday, December 3, 2009

11:43 living room

tired, still kicking the last of the cold away. A small frenzy after dinner, crackers and chocolate and sucker. But realized over eating would not lead me to a happy place, and happily I stopped and moved on with the rest of my night, returning calls and showering and feeling good. A little uncertain for what the weekend will bring, but the day can be shaped by my attitude and my attitude is the one thing I have control over. Play is more fun and meaningful when followed by work and accomplishment. Relaxing is more enjoyable when following activity and physical movement or exercise. Balance is the key to serenity. Off with C last night, realizing I like him more than I was hoping to, but came to a more stable place today, realizing I can like him, I just need to stay connected to myself and honest about where my actions and emotions will lead me. And how to avoid pitfalls. I'm out of town for the weekend, and its long distance to use my phone, so I think it will be a good chance for me to take a breath and pull back from the physical intimacy, which tends to squeeze my heart until the rivers of my thoughts are flooded with 'love'; and cloud my spirit in sheer silky curtains. Tired. Strange sleep for the past two nights, restless. Today was a good day, sunny and cold and a museum visit after work with many friends. Grateful for a warm lit house, for a younger brother and a younger sister, who teach me so much about sharing, forgiveness and letting go.

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