Each binge is only more emphasis for step 1.
sniffles, and throat tight from excessive drinking this weekend. but good fun all around. Britt's going away gathering friday night, then to C's for pie baking (and wine). Aub's bball game on saturday, binge the afternoon, walk, jump and exercise after it, then to C's going away party. Lots of interesting people, laughing, dancing, all around fun :) Starting to feel helpless at my sadness but I just have to let it roll through. Think I need to pull back so I don't grow any bitterness.
Grateful for talking with Sponsor E tonight, she's great with giving grounding perspective. Time and effort. Willing, not trying. If I try, Im trying to control. If im willing, im letting a higher power come in and do what I cant. I've tried. It doesnt pan out. And allowing myself to create a higher power exactly how I need. If its a higher power, its going to have the ability to adapt to whatever a person's needs are. My job to really open up and be honest about what i need. Now I need strength, courage, humility, compassion to find and embrace and embody and live Love. Grateful for my house, my family, the fellowship, my friends. I have an infinite list of wonders to be grateful for. Breath.
Life is overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter.
- Eileen Caddy