Monday, October 26, 2009

11:45 hotel room

Its amazing how we can lose track of the moment, be so engaged on the surface level that not much registers below. Tonight playing games and drinking beer, laughing so hard my cheeks hurt. But not really involving any thought process. This afternoon, also happy and laughing in the bright afternoon sunshine and cold, strong wind, capering around a park. But thinking, and not drinking. I think two beers is a cap for me. The first relaxes me, the second gives me a buzz, but after that, there is no substantial increase in enjoyment, things get foggy and I just feel ill later. A limit learned.
Up with ease this morning, fully awake on the drive into seattle. Transfer of luggage through a downpour and the 15 of us were on our way to here, Yakima, for a mandatory 4 day extra training conference. Hydroplaning and newspapers, beautiful views over the rolling hills under storm breaking skies. Though I had driven this road many times, I realize I had never driven it in the rain, which gave it a whole new beauty for me. I do love clouds :) They feel like a tangible image of the greater powers around us. To me anyway. Their majesty, their might, their never ending changing and morphing. They can be everything and everything. They are lakes and ponds and seas and oceans floating in the sky.
Arrived in time for a yummy buffet taco lunch. Key note speaker was a bit of a drag, but felt present during most of it. The funneled glass tumbler on the table was a magnet for my eyes. It has so much weight, so much being. It was beautiful. Skipped the afternoon lesson to take a walk by the river and run around the playground with two co-workers. Lots of belly laughs and real smiles. Bright bright sunshine. Back for a beer run, a chugged bottle, then a delicious turkey dinner. Back to the hotel for more drinking and games. One of the last to retreat to my room for some dancing, situps and a shower.
Here and there, back and forth. I don't want to lose myself in the fray, in the repetition. In the madness. I pray to stay focused and present, to fully open myself to the higher powers, to the Creative Spirit, who can guide me to 'righteousness'. To where I need to be, where I can be. Thankful for not being in the food tonight. For being satisfied enough to not have to overly think about it- desiring/restricting. Grateful for a big bed, a warm clean shower. A co-workers voice dictating this; bring it back, Paradie, bring it back. Bring it back to here, bring it back.

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