Sunday, October 4, 2009

6:34 bedroom

We cannot hold a torch to light another person’s path without brightening our own.
- Ben Sweetland
Just another nudging reminder to let go of control and to put myself first. Learning every day. Living just for today.

Will be home late tonight, after DJ set downtown, so am writing a few lines now. A beautiful fall day, cool but with a warm, bright sun. Road cleanup in the am, then walked around Salmon Days with the siblings in the afternoon. Drove back into town to go to a meeting, but the building was closed, probably because it was surronded by the festival. Not a loss though, back home and begin to read the Big Book, with mum. Very tired, baby slept for a few minutes- that sleep where you just collapse in whatever position you are in, your jaw hangs open and when you wake, you wake with a jerk of your head. Short call to my sponser, who is traveling on the east coast. still dont feel completely myself talking to her, but I think this is okay, maybe the situation calls for it. A chance for me to understand myelf better, learn why I am not freely open. It could just be a personality thing. But also I tend to get non-chalant when talking seriously about only my own problems. I think if I approached it as; that I was talking about my emotions and issues as a discussion rather than a confidence, it would make the conversation smoother...
Slight headache. My vision starting to become clearer, after only this short amount of time. Hopefully get a massage this week. Got a free back exam at the fair, and they gave me a recommendation for a full visit, free of charge including x-ray, as long as I bought a massage. Usually don't like those tit-for-tat schemes but, hey, massage for 20$, YES please :)
I pray for faith. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I pray to completely release my life into your care, your guidance. I am grateful for a nurturing home, even with the problems I have with it. Love.

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