Thursday, September 17, 2009

10:08 living room

I love the look of 10:00 on a digital clock. just so rounded and full of plenty.
Bit sick today, bro had the flu for a week, so think ive caught a touch of it. sound english maybe because ive been watching BBC productions for the past 48 hours. could prob go to work tomorrow but am going to stay home. Laid in bed until 11 this morning, then took a walk in the woods. magical, the light streaming through the branches, the leaves lit up to glowing, the trees so thick as to feel like you are in another place, another universe. dark thick trunks from another time. rich soft pungent loam. emerged and sat on the driveway watching the clouds for a while. another miracle. swirling and morphing to the sun's conducting rays, poofing and retreating when the direct light hits.
short exercise and long stretch, finish Wives and Daughters. Small plucks on the guitar. Thumb through and tear out dreams from travel magazines. Aubrey home, then mum. Sleep on the couch for a few hours in the late afternoon sunshine. Rouse at 6:30, check email and eat some dinner, start another movie, overeat in the computer room but stop at 8:30, not feeling well enough to eat, thank God. Also thankful for Aneica's text. Started another movie and caught the second half of the season two premier of fringe. A very indulging day, overall. One very much enjoyed :) Feel awake, but also like i need rest, to sleep.
I wrote a letter to myself last night, and the words seemed to come as if from another place, another source, free flowing and with gravity. I think it could apply to all, if one so wished it:

Dear You,
You are a wonderful being, a child of creation, a piece of the universe. You and the stars are made of the same stuff, your veins of your body and the rivers of the earth course and turn in the same manner, circles of energy. You are worth the life you have been givien. Your spirit is a sparkling fire and shines with the rest of all life in the realm of the soul. You are fragile and humble and proud and you relish in the miracle of life. You will turn old and die. You will change state, you will metamorphisize, but you will still be. You have always been and you will always be part of creation. You are not alone. You are a part of something greater than yourself, and that is a comfort to you. You have a lot to do, a lot to accomplish in your living lifetime. In this living lifetime. So go. Go live.

Love, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This is whats inside, this is what i feel i am, hidden underneath the layers, under the sickness, under the darkness...
I am balanced between the swimmers. I am fit, slim, active, friendly. I am my own best friend, I am self aware and self knowing. I am a loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend. I am a dreamer, a ponderer, an observer, a problem solver. I am a lover. I am a walker, a traveler, a conversationalist, a reader, a writer. I create, I am organized, tidy, relaxed. I am helpful. I am truthful.

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